


My Captain America

by nikkita2014



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Fights, Social Anxiety, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:21:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7002145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkita2014/pseuds/nikkita2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton Irwin, my Captain America, my savior.</p>
<p>A girl no one cared about for nine years finds love and possibly someone to save her from herself, but time is not on their side. Four years have passed since she saw him and he had managed to change her life even with the separation. What will happen when they finally see each other again? Will there be a happily ever after or more pain and suffering than anyone could imagine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(This is my work from wattpad)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologe

I watched as my life withered away, just slipping into complete and total nothingness. My life held no meaning for me; I mean I loved my family and my friends but no one truly wanted an orphaned, abused, mentally fucked up girl. Well that's a lie, someone does want someone like me, but just as a play thing; not to love and cherish but to play with and if it breaks then they throw me away and move on. No big deal.

I felt no reason to stay, I mean why would I? My biological parents died in a car crash when I was just six months old; my adoptive family was great until I was three and my mother, April, was killed in the parking lot of her work. After that my father, John, became a drunk violent man who would use me as his own personal punching bag. As the years crawled by things got worse. My father allowed his "friends" to use me for their personal pleasure, I was six when it all started. By the age of nine I had enough and I wanted to end it all. I tried but failed and ended up being found by my neighbor's dog. My neighbor took me to the hospital and when the doctors began the examination they found all of the bruises and scars left by my father so they took me away from him. 

Within six months I was adopted again, this time by a woman with two adult twin boys. At the time I didn't understand why they would want me, hell I didn't even want me, but there I was sitting in their house learning about their family. When I moved in with them things were hard because I was selectively mute; I mean I could talk if I wanted to, but after years of being beaten and told that if I said anything about what went on inside that house that I would be killed you learn to just not talk. I could communicate with sign language and my new family learned sign language fast so they could talk with me. 

I was by no means an easy child; I had nightmares that would end with me screaming bloody murder and walking everyone in the house up. After the attempt on my life I continued with self -harming, I had found a slight relief in the pain. By the age of eleven though the mute thing stopped, I had very little friends but the one I had I cherished. One constant in my life had been dance, April had out me into it when I was two and John didn't dare take me out of it. So when I was eleven my only friend, Cheyenne, introduced me to her friends at dance class. Its hard to make friends when you've grown up in the same town your whole life and every one knows about your past. Not long after I was adopted though my classmates found out about my past and decided that bullying me was the way to go, like my life wasn't hell enough. The bullying lasted until I was sixteen.

You're probably wondering why I've told you all this well its all leading up to my first meeting with my Captain America, or as you know him, Ashton Irwin.


	2. Chapter 1

Today was absolute shit! Mady and her bitch clique decided that today would be a fantastic time to remind me of my sorry excuse of a childhood and my asshole of a father, like I need a reminder of either. I mean hell how can I forget either of those, seriously I lived with them for nine years.

"How was school, Nikky?" My mom yelled as I slammed the front door. I chose to ignore her and climb the stairs to my attic bedroom. Now when I say attic I don't mean some dusty scary place; my room had plush dark cream carpet, dark red almost black walls, a huge bay window facing the barn with a padded bench, and distressed turquoise bed, dresser, and table. I slung my back pack onto my red comforter on my bed and flung myself onto the bay window bench.

The bay window was one of my favorite places because I could come up here and read or watch my family's horses run wild and play. Texas springs were one of the most beautiful times to just sit and admire the view. The blue bonnets blooming everywhere, the new foals learning to run and play, and the abundance of wild life coming out to see the new word; this is why I loved my attic room I could see it all, any time I wanted. The longer I sat there the more I thought about my sad life, wondering why must people hate me for something that I can't control? How can this world be so cruel to someone? 

As these thoughts continued to swirl around in my brain my wrists began to itch, to crave that one thing I so badly wanted to deny them, but I knew I wasn't strong enough to. Slowly I got up and began to walk towards my bathroom, walking towards relief. Before I could reach the bathroom my phone went off, playing the annoying beeping ringtone of my best friend Cheyenne. I couldn't ignore her, she knew of my...let's just say bad habit...and if I didn't respond fast enough then she would call or text my brothers and they would come up here to check on me. I turned from the bathroom and walked to my bed grabbing my phone.

From Chey:

You have got to check out this new band!

They are so freaking cute!!!

Oh and they can sing

To Chey:

Okay I will

She texted a link to a YouTube video, I clicked on the link. As the video loaded I began to think about just ignoring her and going to the bathroom, but I decided against it once the video was loaded. When the video came up I saw four boys; two with guitars, one on a cajon, and one just sitting there. I had thought that they would be an average band, but they were so freaking good. The longer the video played the more my attention was drawn to them. Before the video even finished playing Chey was texting again.

From Chey: 

So how was it?

To Chey: 

It was really good

From Chey:

Told ya so.

I didn't feel the need to text back so I locked my phone and tossed it onto the bed. Going over to my side table I pulled my laptop off it and fell back onto my bed and loaded up YouTube. I looked up the band Cheyenne had sent me, 5 Seconds Of Summer. I pulled up their YouTube channel and played that one video over and over again, Gotta Get Out. Every time the video finished I was hitting replay over and over. I did this for an hour before my brother Blake was calling me down for dinner. As I was walking down the stairs it hit me, my desire to cut was gone. It had vanished while I was watching those boys play and sing, but how can that be? Nothing had ever truly been able to keep me from cutting before. 

All through out dinner my family tried to talk to me but I was stuck in my brain wondering how four boys I had just found out about could have distracted me enough not to cut. After dinner was finished and I helped my other brother Cade do the dishes I was running back to my room. I pulled up 5 Seconds of Summer's YouTube page again and I watched their other videos, and by ten p.m. I knew that they could help me get over my self harming issue. So I did something I never thought I would do, I went into my bathroom and gathered every single razor or blade I had, placing them in a plastic bag. Walking down stairs I thought about what was to come, or well how hard everything was going to become because of one decision.

"Hey baby girl, what's going on?" Momma asked when I came into the living room. My mom and brothers were sitting there watching the evening news, enjoying life.

"I've got something to give you." I took a deep breath and walked forward. "I don't need these anymore." I dropped the bag on the coffee table and left. I was up in my room in less than a minute, which I didn't even think was possible, I just needed to leave before they said anything.

\-----------

(one month later)

Turns out that finding those boys when I did was the perfect time. After a month of hell; bullies and drama and the struggle to stay clean, things got even worse. I thought that life would start to turn around and be happy, but nope it was about to get a shit to worse. 

"Nikky! Mail for you!" Blake called as I came in the door. Today was a relatively calm day at school and I was actually enjoying my day. As I snatched the mail from his hands he gave me a small smile, I slid into the kitchen island chairs as I ripped the letter open. My mom bustled around the kitchen preparing dinner as I began to read. 

"What's your letter about, honey?" My mom asked as she walked by. But I couldn't respond, hell my brain hadn't even processed that she had just asked me a question. So instead of trying to understand her words and formulate a response I dropped the letter and bolted out the back doors to the barn behind the house. I head to my favorite place in the whole world, the hay loft. The deep earthy smell calming me almost instantly, the warm hay allowing me to burrow deep into it as if the bright yellow straw could hide me, protect me from anything and everything. Sitting there I allowed my brain to think and mull over the letter, the letter that could change my life. 

"Nikkita, where are you?" I heard Cade call.

"Baby sister, are you in here?" Blake called. I couldn't respond, I could not physically make myself call out to him, to let him know where I am and that I need him. But Blake knew me, he knew I would be here; within minutes I heard heavy foot falls on the stair leading to the loft. Seconds ticked by before I saw the top of Blake's head pop into view, his dark hair and strong facial structure giving him an air of authority and bad-asse vibes. 

"Hey, baby sister, there you are." He breathed out softly. "Why are you hiding up here?"

I couldn't respond to him so instead I shook my head as tears began to well up. He took one look and saw the tears and began the climb over the hay bales to get to me. He plopped down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me into his side. Hiding from the world in my brother's chest I allowed the fear to take over, knowing for a fact that he would take care of me no matter what.

"Hey, what happened? What was in that letter?" He asked softly, as if I was going to blow away if he talked to loud or allowed his grip to lessen even if by a fraction.

"It was from John." I choked out. I felt Blake tense beside me and I knew he was thinking the worst. "He said that he is getting released soon and will come looking for me." 

"He will do no such thing." Blake growled.

"There aren't any restrictions on his parole, Blake, he can come as near to me as he pleases and there is nothing I can do about it." I whined out pathetically.

"I won't allow him to hurt you." Blake promised. "He will not hurt you again, you are ours now, not his"

"I know." I smiled sadly as I clung to him. We stayed like that for a while and before I knew it I was passed out, dead to the world, as Blake carried my sleeping self down stairs and back into the house.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love that this only has two chapters up and yet people are leaving kudos (I'm amazed)   
> Here is the next chapter, enjoy, and don't forget to leave some comments!

A few days have passed since I got the letter from John, and well lets just say that I haven't left the house besides school and dance. I haven't take my horse, Spirit, out for a good run or even go to the mall with my friends. When I am away from my house or my brothers I am always looking around and staying as far away from people as I can. I know my family and friends are worried, I mean hell Cheyenne has all but moved in with me and the boys are walking around acting like my own personal body guards. I've barely been sleeping, the nightmares are back and stronger than ever; I wake up from the dreams crying, screaming, and sweating and every time Blake is in my room in before I can even wake up and Cheyenne is getting water and new clothes. I felt like such a burden to my family and friends but any time I would try to bring it up or apologize they would tell me to shut up and that they wanted to take care of me. 

Today seemed different though, something in my gut told me that today something big was going to happen. What ever was to come would possibly change my life forever, and I didn't want to face it. Instead of getting up and facing this weird feeling I decided to burrow down in my covers and stay hidden from the world for as long as I could, which turned out to be five minutes.

"Baby sister, it's time to get up." Blake called softly as he came into my room. Slowly he pushed the door open, looking around he saw nothing but a mound of blankets on my bed, I was invisible to everyone when hiding under my blankets.

"I don't want to." I huffed.

"I know but I've got a surprise for you." He said, I could hear the smile in his voice so I knew this surprise would be good. Groaning I sat up and flipped the covers off my head, I gave him my best mad face as I climbed out of my warm soft bed.

"What?" I all but growled.

"Shower first then meet me in the kitchen." He smiled and left leaving me confused as hell. I did what he said none the less, I was dying to find out what this surprise could be. After twenty minutes I was finally making my way down stairs and into the kitchen to find out what Blake had gotten me.

"I'm here, now what?" I asked.

"Sit baby and have some food." Momma laughed. Doing as I was told I sat at the kitchen island and allowed her to place a plate of food in front of me. Something was fishy, Momma made my favorite breakfast; that being a cowboy breakfast, also known as eggs, hash-browns, cheese, and sausage all on a tortilla. I sat there eating my food watching my mom and brother whisper and talk when they thought I couldn't hear them.

"Alright you two I can't eat while y'all are being sneaky and creepy. Spill, now." I said.

"Okay, okay." Blake chuckled. "I have to go on a business trip for a week, to Australia."

"Okay, now what does that have to do with me?" I asked puzzled.

"You are going to go with him, baby." Momma smiled.

"Wait what?" I yelled. "You are taking me with you?"

"Yes, baby sister. You are coming with me for a week long trip to Australia." Blake laughed. "During the day though I will be in meetings so you will have to entertain yourself, but at night we will go exploring and have a great time."

"Why now though?" He's never taken me on a business trip before. 

"Well you've been stressed out and depressed that I want to see you smile again." Blake sadly admitted.

"I know I've been difficult to deal with lately but I am trying it's just hard." I looked down. I know I haven't been trying to get over the letter or the fact that John was out, but its hard not to feel like I'm nine years old again. Fearing for my life and never knowing when the next hit would come tends to leave an imprint on someone. 

"It's not your fault baby." Momma said sadly. She came and wrapped her arms around me, trying to make me feel safe. "We just want to give you time away, time to feel free again."

"When do we leave?" I smiled softly.

"Two days." Blake laughed.

~Two days later~

Today's the day, the day I get to be free for a week. Free of the anxiety of wondering when or where John was going to fulfill his promise to find me. None of that would matter in 17 hours, after that time I would be sitting in another country 8,581 miles away.

"Alright, make sure you listen to your brother and stay out of trouble." Momma warned sternly.

"What trouble could a sixteen year old possibly get into in Sydney?" I laughed.

"Still." She argued.

"Alright I promise. I will be on my best behavior and I will listen to Blake. I will see you in a week." I smiled.

"Bye baby. Blake take care of her." Momma said.

"I will. See y'all in a week." Blake called as we walked out the front door. Cade was driving us to the airport so I hopped into the back seat ready for this drive to begin. The only stop we made was for a quick fill up of the truck and hen we were back on the road. Pulling up to the airport my excitement went from mildly excited to bouncing in my seat excited.

"Calm down, Nikky." Cade laughed as he pulled up to the drop off curb. Sliding out of the truck I grabbed my carry on, which was a canvas back pack, and went to the back to get my luggage. Cade and Blake pulled every thing out of the bed of the truck before I could even help.

"Now, be good little sister." Cade said as he hugged me.

"I will." I hugged him back as tight as I could.

Two hours later Blake and I sat in our seats waiting for the plane to take off. Once in the air I pulled out my headphones and got ready for the longest flight of my life.


End file.
